I've noticed recently that there are a lot of people that like to talk and not very many people that like to listen. I would say 75% of people like to maintain a 4:1 ratio of talking to listening. I was going to make a graph to show all of this but Microsoft finally figured out my copy of Microsoft Office 2008 is illegal and I don't feel like dealing with it now. I have also started realizing recently that people don't really listen to me when I speak and I've thought of several reasons why this could be.
I know I'm not the most eloquent speaker around, maybe I just don't say things in an interesting enough way. Or maybe the things I have to say just plain aren't interesting.
It could be that I am only surrounded by the 75% of people that like that high talking ratio.
I know I mumble a lot and I'm sorry for that, possibly people just can't hear me so they don't even know I'm talking.
Perhaps I am just so much smarter then everyone else that they can't even understand what I'm saying so they drown me out. Perhaps not. I did have to search proper then/than usage, and I'm still unsure which one I should have used in the first sentence, I'm not really a fan of grammar though.
Hi, my name is Kenneth and I am an introvert.
Everyone who knows me knows that I am the quiet type. An introvert is someone who "is predominately concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things." That means I can sit for a long time in the presence of another human and not feel the "awkward silence" I keep hearing about. I wasn't always like this though.
The time before now.
I used to be pretty rowdy and obnoxious. I would seek attention by running around being an annoying little kid. Thankfully I have since grown out of that, for the most part, but I think that many people seek attention by talking, being loud, and just filling the air with any kind of noise they can. That isn't really their personality, they just want to be noticed. The one thing these people don't realize is that there is a quality to people's attention. Let's say you are watching The Office on TV, the quality of your attention is going to be much better when you're watching The Office then when the commercials come on. I would much rather talk to people with The Office quality of talk than with commercial quality of talk. TV is a bad example though because it's mostly just noise to entertain us when there's not other people around to create that noise. What I hope people realize is that it doesn't matter the amount of attention pay to you, but the quality of the attention people pay to you, and to get that quality you must have something worth saying.
Back to a previous point.
One reason I like writing online is that I can say whatever I want and as much as I want and I can imagine that lots of people will read it and think it's great. I like to imagine this but I know that probably 2 people at the most will read this and not think anything of it. All well, I liked writing it and I'm not going to proofread it!
8 comments:
all very true. i don't know why so many people are uncomfortable with silence. but it's very true that people believe that since there are so many people talking in the world that they have to talk louder, instead of talking profounder [not a word]. also, the correct use in this situation is "than", sorry.
Good thoughts here, sir.
I would like to add that the difference between tv and conversation is that the messages delivered by the tv does not expect an answer, however, conversation is the exchange of information between both parties involved.
As far as silence goes, "it is better to be thought a fool than to open ones mouth and prove it."
kudos, sir.
One way I remember the then/than is this:
When you are comparing something to something else, like in your sentence, you would use "than" but when you are saying something is the result/or dependent of something else, you would use "then" (i.e. I'll do my homework then we can hang out.) ;D
I think one of the parts of finding good quality friendships are finding those special people that think what you say is interesting. The majority of the status quo won't think what one says is too exciting, so it's up to you to find those that do.
Good blog though, I'm glad you updated!
I thought of one other reason we don't listen to each other - it's because we are already thinking of what we are going to say next! I do that a lot. It's lame because it shows I think I am smarter/more important than they are. It takes humility to listen, plus willingness to put forth effort on behalf of another person, because listening is hard work.
But I agree, the part about it being hard work goes both ways. It's not very considerate to talk nonstop and expect people to listen, if you haven't even done the work to consider whether what you are saying is worthwhile.
Thanks everyone for the grammar advice and good thoughts :)
Who is Dave?
i don't know who dave is, but he seems to think you are his superior because he called you sir twice
i think this was a pretty great blog.
i agree with your friend jillianmariethomas that the key to good friendship is finding the few people who find you truly interesting (and vice versa). jesus only had twelve close friends and i think there was a reason for that.
dude you are an amazing person and i cant wait to get to know you more.
love you.
g
"Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent." - Dionysius of Halicarnassus
I think it summarizes your "quality of noise people seek" point pretty well.
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